{"items":["5fda7493212d7900179af3f7","5fda7493212d7900179af3f5","5fda7493212d7900179af3f2","5fda7493212d7900179af3f8","5fda7493212d7900179af3fa","5fda7493212d7900179af3f9","5fda7493212d7900179af3f1","5fda7493212d7900179af3f4","5fda7493212d7900179af3f6","5fda7493212d7900179af3f3"],"styles":{"galleryType":"Columns","groupSize":1,"showArrows":true,"cubeImages":true,"cubeType":"max","cubeRatio":1.7777777777777777,"isVertical":true,"gallerySize":30,"collageAmount":0,"collageDensity":0,"groupTypes":"1","oneRow":false,"imageMargin":32,"galleryMargin":0,"scatter":0,"rotatingScatter":"","chooseBestGroup":true,"smartCrop":false,"hasThumbnails":false,"enableScroll":true,"isGrid":true,"isSlider":false,"isColumns":false,"isSlideshow":false,"cropOnlyFill":false,"fixedColumns":0,"enableInfiniteScroll":true,"isRTL":false,"minItemSize":50,"rotatingGroupTypes":"","rotatingCropRatios":"","columnWidths":"","gallerySliderImageRatio":1.7777777777777777,"numberOfImagesPerRow":3,"numberOfImagesPerCol":1,"groupsPerStrip":0,"borderRadius":0,"boxShadow":0,"gridStyle":0,"mobilePanorama":false,"placeGroupsLtr":false,"viewMode":"preview","thumbnailSpacings":4,"galleryThumbnailsAlignment":"bottom","isMasonry":false,"isAutoSlideshow":false,"slideshowLoop":false,"autoSlideshowInterval":4,"bottomInfoHeight":0,"titlePlacement":"SHOW_BELOW","galleryTextAlign":"center","scrollSnap":false,"itemClick":"nothing","fullscreen":true,"videoPlay":"hover","scrollAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","slideAnimation":"SCROLL","scrollDirection":0,"scrollDuration":400,"overlayAnimation":"FADE_IN","arrowsPosition":0,"arrowsSize":23,"watermarkOpacity":40,"watermarkSize":40,"useWatermark":true,"watermarkDock":{"top":"auto","left":"auto","right":0,"bottom":0,"transform":"translate3d(0,0,0)"},"loadMoreAmount":"all","defaultShowInfoExpand":1,"allowLinkExpand":true,"expandInfoPosition":0,"allowFullscreenExpand":true,"fullscreenLoop":false,"galleryAlignExpand":"left","addToCartBorderWidth":1,"addToCartButtonText":"","slideshowInfoSize":200,"playButtonForAutoSlideShow":false,"allowSlideshowCounter":false,"hoveringBehaviour":"NEVER_SHOW","thumbnailSize":120,"magicLayoutSeed":1,"imageHoverAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","imagePlacementAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","calculateTextBoxWidthMode":"PERCENT","textBoxHeight":352,"textBoxWidth":200,"textBoxWidthPercent":50,"textImageSpace":10,"textBoxBorderRadius":0,"textBoxBorderWidth":0,"loadMoreButtonText":"","loadMoreButtonBorderWidth":1,"loadMoreButtonBorderRadius":0,"imageInfoType":"ATTACHED_BACKGROUND","itemBorderWidth":0,"itemBorderRadius":0,"itemEnableShadow":false,"itemShadowBlur":20,"itemShadowDirection":135,"itemShadowSize":10,"imageLoadingMode":"BLUR","expandAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","imageQuality":90,"usmToggle":false,"usm_a":0,"usm_r":0,"usm_t":0,"videoSound":false,"videoSpeed":"1","videoLoop":true,"jsonStyleParams":"","gallerySizeType":"px","gallerySizePx":1000,"allowTitle":true,"allowContextMenu":true,"textsHorizontalPadding":-30,"itemBorderColor":{"themeName":"color_15","value":"rgba(255,255,255,0)"},"showVideoPlayButton":true,"galleryLayout":2,"calculateTextBoxHeightMode":"MANUAL","textsVerticalPadding":-15,"targetItemSize":1000,"selectedLayout":"2|bottom|1|max|true|0|true","layoutsVersion":2,"selectedLayoutV2":2,"isSlideshowFont":true,"externalInfoHeight":352,"externalInfoWidth":0},"container":{"width":670,"galleryWidth":702,"galleryHeight":0,"scrollBase":0,"height":null}}
Water for Horses
~
a blog on finding Grace & Authenticity
amid Friendship. Parenthood, Marriage & Divorce ~
Why are beginnings so darn hard?
Why do we resist... the falling into, ...the trusting of,... new beginnings.
It seems as though the moment I understood the call to write openly, (meaning in blog format vs FaceBook),...
I've done nothing but resist beginning.
I was having a hard time with the unfold. Like, ...where,...seriously.... to begin...?
What I know is,... Resistance is born of fear, ....& fear,... is born of lacking trust.
A chain seemingly crafted of iron but in fact only made of dust. Tiny particles of importance just waiting to be blown to the wind to disperse our own beautiful fragments of Being.
So does this mean I resist the chance to send my self into Being? ...or is it simply that I struggle with trust..?
This seeming inability to trust, was going to be my biggest hurdle. Opening myself up to understanding, & most importantly to FEELING I'm worthy of my highest purposes, (loving & being loved, writing & sharing)..... feeling this worth is a daily process for me, .. one I had been struggling with for some time. So, when I am scared (like I have been to start this blog), I simply need to get myself on track and begin to TRUST. Trust I am divinely protected and loved. Trust in my higher purpose,.. trust in being a woman of strength & grace on a path to journal herself down. In the effort to share her story, & potentially help others.
So,
...here I am. It's really quite scary & I feel kinda naked.
It's here,...right here...in this moment of vulnerability that I need to feel these feelings... acknowledge them, & tell you that ... I have never been afraid of skinny dipping, or of baring myself vocally between the bars of a rhyme, (both forms of nakedness)..... &,.... so, .... I'm IN.
The water is deep, and cold, & kind of .... exciting, .. & .. fabulous.
My Love,
Jessica
