November 18, 2015
The thing about grief & loss is they shatter you, ....but everything & everyone else keep moving. - so I kept moving, as best I could.
The process of my divorce has been nothing short of death. A death of me, of who I saw myself as, of my drea...
November 18, 2015
I stopped writing when my divorce process officially began. We had been falling away from one another for years, ...an ocean of difficulties
for us that we were unable to bridge. It was a time when (as a first) I felt maybe I shouldn't write from my most authentic plac...
September 1, 2014
So to know someone ... like, to truly feel connection with another, ....to love their Being,... must it be that you've known one another for a significant length of time. My answer..... Absolutely not. It can happen in an instant. In one instant. I believe, with my...
August 24, 2014
Early morning light is as renewing for me as a trip to the sea.
There is something, ....about its promise, ..and constance, which strengthens me.
I was refreshed last night after a visit with a dear friend.
Let's call her, Beauty,...because that's what she is,...
S...
August 14, 2014
I dreamed he was dying.
I had a nightmare last night that he was leaving Us.
My beautiful boy. He was trapped underneath a car, neck pinned between the axle or strut,..or something. The woman in the drivers seat flung her door open and was reaching down, between her l...
August 12, 2014
It's damaging to our souls when we lose a beloved friend, family member or artist to death by their own hand, whether suicide, or overdose. It stings especialy hard when we take specific pause as a Nation to learn the lurid details surrounding the potential reasoning...
August 6, 2014
We all get to decide what has meaning ... & what doesn't.
Having moved away from alcohol, ....I've been walking through life more fully aware for the past 6 years or so.
Learning to feel my emotions, one by one. & Slowly.
Sorrow, Joy, ...Pain, ...Love...
July 30, 2014
So I've been contemplating the idea of moderation for a long time now, ...like for at least the past year.
I'm really intrigued by it, these rattly thoughts.
"maybe"
"i wonder IF..."
"can it be done?"
"why does it work for some & not others?"
"maybe I'm not th...

Water for Horses
~
a blog on finding Grace & Authenticity
amid Friendship. Parenthood, Marriage & Divorce ~


Why are beginnings so darn hard?
Why do we resist... the falling into, ...the trusting of,... new beginnings.
It seems as though the moment I understood the call to write openly, (meaning in blog format vs FaceBook),...
I've done nothing but resist beginning.
I was having a hard time with the unfold. Like, ...where,...seriously.... to begin...?
What I know is,... Resistance is born of fear, ....& fear,... is born of lacking trust.
A chain seemingly crafted of iron but in fact only made of dust. Tiny particles of importance just waiting to be blown to the wind to disperse our own beautiful fragments of Being.
So does this mean I resist the chance to send my self into Being? ...or is it simply that I struggle with trust..?
This seeming inability to trust, was going to be my biggest hurdle. Opening myself up to understanding, & most importantly to FEELING I'm worthy of my highest purposes, (loving & being loved, writing & sharing)..... feeling this worth is a daily process for me, .. one I had been struggling with for some time. So, when I am scared (like I have been to start this blog), I simply need to get myself on track and begin to TRUST. Trust I am divinely protected and loved. Trust in my higher purpose,.. trust in being a woman of strength & grace on a path to journal herself down. In the effort to share her story, & potentially help others.
So,
...here I am. It's really quite scary & I feel kinda naked.
It's here,...right here...in this moment of vulnerability that I need to feel these feelings... acknowledge them, & tell you that ... I have never been afraid of skinny dipping, or of baring myself vocally between the bars of a rhyme, (both forms of nakedness)..... &,.... so, .... I'm IN.
The water is deep, and cold, & kind of .... exciting, .. & .. fabulous.
My Love,
Jessica